Monthly Archives: March 2018

Great. But…

There’s a part of me that craves economic stability. It annoys me that I work in private education, where I get paid by the hour, and don’t get paid for summers (what is a being teacher without being paid for holidays?) where if I had the EGA (Basque exam) and a Spanish passport I could do the exam, get a civil servants wage, get 14 payments a year instead of 8. Why can’t I be happy that I work in a place where I’m treated like family and where I genuinely like all the people I work with?

Recently, two friends got some good news. One got her dream job. Another got made permanent at his. Both complained to me immediately:

But the people I work with seem so burned out. It’s not a dynamic environment. I don’t want to become like them.

But I won’t have any time off between this job starting and that one finishing.

I do exactly the same, and I had even more extreme thought processes when I got my job online. After getting what I had wanted, I immediately thought: “Well, if they hired me, anyone can do this. Ergo, this is shit”.

Time to go back to gratitude lists, and try to balance the chimpanzee brain that always strives for more.

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Status Anxiety

 

Emotional rewards have been pegged to status symbols.

People want love, so they buy Ferraris.

What if you fail when people tell you that anyone can do it?

Now we’re told that our societies are meritocracies. If those at the top deserve it, those at the bottom do too. Poverty seems deserved.

Suicide rates rise exponentially when societies join the modern world.

Treat no one as if they entirely deserve to be where they are, not even yourself.

Define your own success.

Refuse to let your outer achievements define your inner life.

 

How to Parent Yourself

  • nurturing
  • re-parenting
  • how are parents behaved may have laid down a template in our minds about how we respond to challenges
  • we by nature have an ability to parent ourselves (comfort ourselves, encourage ourselves, reassure the more agitated parts of us)
  • one part of the mind can speak to the other
  • use your own parents as the creation of the ideal, inner parent
  • knowing so much about what we didn’t have should make us experts at what we need